life have been craaaaaaazzzyyyyyyyy.....

yes.
it is.
life have been crazy.
at least for me.

i run like a tornado (yes i'm exaggerating)
yet i still can't finish any job.
life have been bad.
car's loan.
car's bad scratches.
accident.
car's summons.

work.work.work.works.
work can never end.
i know that.
but at least make it reduce.

lappy.
broken.
damage.
not working.

Aria.
missing.
broken.
unreachable.
no credits.

I am absolutely extremely stressed out!

oh. btw, it's ramadhan now. welcome ramadhan. i wish life is quieter.

(love? there is none. just ignore all those signal. i hate that)

Life is short

Because memory may fade... what if one day I wake up, and find that everything good has gone. What else there to hold on to.

Sent from my HTC

... lost, totally lost...

Dear heart,
Where have you been? Where are you heading?

My feet,
I don't know where they are heading.

My mind,
Have been wandering a lot, and don't know where.

My aim,
It seems that it has lost. Again. And again.

My life,
I want it to be good, I want it to be useful.
But I seems to have lost again..

Sent from my HTC

I hate how this make me feel...

I hate the way you make me feel.
I hate that I have no control on this.
I hate that I'm feeling deeper and deeper in this feeling.
I hate that I don't know what's going to happen..
I really hate this.
I really hate that I can really like him, which I don't want to.
I really hate this.

Sent from my HTC

Recreational

Wow, that's a thick book. It looks heavy. And serious too.

"I think I can like u. That's very difficult. Cause I have decided not too..."

Sent from my HTC

trying to catch up with life...

I am trying to catch up with life that have been put on hold for too long.

Doing things that I wanted to do so much.
Trying to catch up on my reading.
Trying to catch up on my exercise.
Trying to keep up with the greenery.
Trying to catch up my breath.
Trying to look up more on the sky and the stars above.

I am trying to finish up my job, even though I know it's impossible.
(but at least I try)
I try to look at some advertisement,
(for house, job, education..)
I am trying to learn some new skill
I am trying to do what I plan to do before, but have no time to do so.
I try to buy the comic, and catch on the cartoons
I try to buy a magazine, and read more.

Life have been put on hold.
I need to do a lot of catch up.
Before I see it passed me by...

my luggage don't want to go back. it actually want to stay in Hong Kong

Caller: Hello. Ms Chuah Nordiana Busero ke? I'm calling from the airport

Me: ......err... yes..

Caller: You punya luggage dah sampai ni, jadi kita nak arrange hantar pegi mana ye?

Me: dah sampai ye? Bila boleh hantar? Bila boleh sampai? Hantar rumah PJ lah.

Caller: Ok, PJ ke? Baik kami akan hantar tengahari nanti.

Me: A'ah. Bila boleh dapat ye?

Caller: Hari ni, tengahari kita hantar.

Me: Boleh cepat sikit tak? Saya nak keluar nanti. Saya ada barang penting dalam tu!

Caller: Apa barang penting?

Me: err... berus gigi..

hehe.. ok ok aku tipu je part last tuh.

Tapi memang ada banyak barang penting dalam beg luggage aku. Paling penting, kunci rumah! macamana aku nak kuar masuk kalau takde kunci kan?

well, ini cerita betul.

Semalam adalah pengalaman delayed paling stressful yang aku lalui setakat ini.

Flight aku dari Shanghai pukul 12.25 tengahari.  Kami bertolak dari hotel pukul 9.30 pagi (9.40 sbnrnya).
Selepas pung pang pung pang camtu camnih, sampai dah check-in dekat airport shanghai, dan naik flight pukul 12.25 pm.

Dari Shanghai, flight yang sepatutnya bertolak pukul 12.25 delay sampai hampir pukul 4 petang.
Dalam flight duduk in the middle seat, takde makanan apa-apa. tak boleh bergerak. Bila flight akhirnya take off, dia bagi food option pork with rice or chicken with pasta. omg! apa nak pilih nih? mesti la takde apa2 so I was left with no option. Makan je the pasta without the chicken plus the carrot plus the peas. then there's some bread. and some fruit. and some desert.

Sampai Hong Kong kena gegas gegas lari pegi terminal 19 oh my! sebab terminal tu letaknya di hujung donia! penat sungguh berlari lari bila sampai punya la ramai beratur so kitorg duduk dulu. penat lari woooo!
Aku nampak kedai makanan so untuk mengelakkan perkara serupa berlaku, maka aku pun pergi cari sandwich. kedai kopi esp jual kopi harga 20 dan sandwich harga 26... sebab aku tak sempat nak tukar duit hong kong, jadi aku tanya the cashier boleh tak pakai credit card, tapi kan aku dah berjanji dgn diri sendiri untuk kurangkan penggunaan duit future tuh kecuali betul betul penting. lepas tu nampak duit yuan dalam tips, so aku tanya lady cashier tu lagi.
"Can I use Yuan?"
"Can but only in 100 and above, and we only return in HK dollars. is it ok for you?"
kebetulan dalam dompet magis aku cuma ada duit RMB100 x 3 je. jadi aku kata ok.
Beli smoked salmon sandwich dgn air juice sebab dahaga sangat berlari.

Dalam flight yang akhirnya kami berjaya naiki tuh, kena duduk in the middle between aisle seat and window seat. huhu... menyesal pulak tak ambik offer chuah utk duduk kat window seat.
Dalam flight, captain kata flight akan delayed lagi sebab busy air traffic. yelah, sebab bnyk sangat delayed semua kena tunggu semua org lain, dan bila nak fly dah congested la jadinya.

Akhirnya pukul 7.30pm kitorg berjaya take off meninggalkan bumi hong kong yang aku cuma berjaya pijak airportnya. Hujan masih turun dengan agak lebat. bumpy ride all the way.
Ada sepasang couple mat salleh depan kitorg yg aku tak pasti dr mana atau nak ke mana, tapi dia tanya diorg sempat ke nak sampai KLIA sebelum pkl 10 sbb diorg ada another flight to catch at 10.30pm at KLIA. pity pity. mesti la tak sempat punya.

Ok, to cut short the story at the momment, kitorg sampai KL dalam pukul 11.00pm dan aku terus je keluar tak sempat pun nak cakap bye bye kat Chuah sebab dia dok tepi sekali susah nak kuar aku kena kuar bagi org jalan dulu baru dia  oleh bangun amik beg.
Sampai KLIA, aku baru tau beg aku tak naik flight dari Hong Kong dan akan naik the next flight. marah betul! Then bateri handphone abis, handphone satu lagi dalam luggage dan aku baru ingat kunci rumah juga dalam luggage! oh no! macamana... kena sambung bahagian lain pulak...

wahai pencuri tulang rusukku

~ ♥ Wahai pemilik tulang rusukku
Sesungguhnya aku sentiasa menunggu
Menanti dan berdoa agar dipertemukan denganmu

Dalam setiap detik saat yang terus berlalu
Aku terus menjadi perindu
Yang sentiasa memperbaiki diriku
Agar menjadi suri terbaikmu

Biarpun masa bagaikan cemburu
Aku terus menunggu dan menunggu
Tidak sekali aku rasa jemu

Kerana aku sentiasa sematkan dalam hatiku
Kau juga sedang berusaha mencariku
Sambil terus mempersiapkan dirimu
Untuk menjadi yang terbaik buatku

Walau aku tidak pernah tahu
Siapakah dia pemilik tulang rusukku... ~ ♥


***********************************
copy directly from facebook

Never forget

They flirt in front of my very eyes. How can I forget that. I have to remember that.

Sent from my HTC

You are just like a tumor, a cancer...

9 April 2012, fed highway, 4.25pm

I am considering an operation.
To remove you out of my head.

You are just like a growing tumors, a cancer in my head.

It is so painful.


Sent from my HTC

Life is just like Coffee..

"Kopi itu umpama satu kehidupan. 

punya rasa pahit manis nya. 

jadi kamu.. ya kamu... 

mahukah kamu menjadi sebahagian kopi ku?"

It's time to close the old book and write new story

Yes it is.

I'm going to forget about you.
I'm going to focus on things that make me happy.
I'm going to focus on work.
I'm going to focus on success.
I'm going to focus on hiking.
I'm going to focus on study.
I'm going to focus on travelling.

I'm going to forget about you.

I'm not going to contact you.
If you contact me then its ok. But other than that, I won't.

I'm going to tell my story online.
So people won't know how my feeling is.
So I can mask my feeling easily.

I don't have to guess what you think.
I don't have to be awkward in front of you. I just have to ignore you.

I'm just going to focus to be happy.

If I find another person on the way, I'll just be myself.

I am just going to focus to be happy.
With myself.

(No half of my heart does not belong to you anymore. I take it back)

Sent from my HTC

Damn you.

Hati sakit betul.

Benci aku rasa. Kerja, life, love. Him, them. Stupid.

I ask something important and you don't answer. And yet, you have time to comment something to your friend photo.
Okay, so somebody is pretty. So somebody is singing nicely.
So I actually means nothing to you kan?
I better make a distance from you.

Driving konon.
Huh! But you can reply people comment. And say some people pretty or what.
Fine! Not talking to you anymore.

And work! Damn the work. Damn the workplace.
Damn the system.
Damn everyone.
I work like no tomorrow and for what.
Damn everything.
And what about my pay? What about my bonus?
Damn everything.

Sent from my HTC

Hai, nama saya orked..

Hai..

Sy orked.

Saya cuma perlu cari sepet saya je..

(and I know, I just afraid to let somebody get too close. Because I'm afraid of getting hurt. Again)



Sent from my HTC

sudah lah, aku benci dia!

aku benci dia.
benci kalau aku asyik ingat pada dia.
benci tunggu panggilan atau sms dari dia.

benci kalau dia buat aku gelak.
benci kalau aku rindu dia.
benci betul.

paling benci.
bila dia buat aku rasa suka, rindu dan gembira dengan dia.
pada masa yang sama,
tak ingat pada aku, tak sms aku, tak call aku.

(benci betul)

I miss u demmit

I miss U.

There I said it.

Demmit.

How does this happen.

(I really really really hope that u do too)

Sent from my HTC

Numb

I wanna stop thinking.

Can I stop everything, and do nothing.

What is happiness. What is it that I'm looking for. I hate the feeling of not knowing.

I am not sure what exactly am I feeling right now.

I wish I am stronger than this.
I wish I am firmer than this.
Not even a smile can move me. Not even a thing.

Sent from my HTC

Straight from the eyes...

I remember I was sitting right across him, and he ask me question.

I look him straight to his eyes, and think. Wah, his eyes is so brown. Much more lighter brown than mine. It is always this brown.

Then I look away.

And it seems to bother me all day.

(and I secretly wish him to contact me, for whatever reason)

-d.yanz, Monday 5 March 2012, 23:50-

Sent from my HTC

All I need....

When I'm feeling upset, all I need is you.

(No, that someone is not in the photo, but it's in my heart now)  

Sent from my HTC

Puasa.

Aku rasa aku perlu puasa sunat. Sebab kepala dah fikir macam-macam.

*dem~

(Dua satu dua satu dua)
Lapan belas kosong kosong.


Sent from my HTC

Huzhou, Huizhou, Hutang...?

First nite in Huizhou. I guess that is the correct one.
This is a very small city, nothing is here accept .. I'm not too sure.
It takes 2 hours from Guangzhou airport to here. (they should have warned me).
It was 13 degree celcius in Guangzhou. (they should have warned me).

I don't know how it will be, but I hope everything is okay..

Sent from my HTC

page 31 of 366

gara-gara cik shadow aku terpaksa bangun lebih awal dari sepatutnya, 

terpaksa lapar,

terpaksa korban tido,

terbaksa buat kerja yang banyak giler macam 18 tan atas bahu.

hari ini aku merajuk dgn dunia

dan orang orang sekeliling aku.

tapi dunia tak ada yang mahu pujuk aku pun.

****************************************

Ok, aku dah ada buku wimpy kid 1, 2 (rodrick rules) & 3 (the last straw)

jadi aku kena ingat buku mana yang perlu aku beli dengan voucer kema & adik...

and I'm asking who's the one making the life complicated

whatever.

Raining, but it's ok cause I'm home

366 day 21st.

I'm home.

I mean at hometown.

Never feel so relax, so contented. Finally able to sleep without thinking. No dreams yaaw.. (and I keep thinking of last nite dream).

Home is where the heart is. Home is where we feel so ....at home. (can't express anymore, I just feel so contented)
It's raining.
But its ok, cause I'm home.

Sent from my HTC

366 - 19.01.2012

Kitorg ada boss baru, group baru, section baru...
rupa-rupanya ada banyak cerita di sebalik kehadiran semua yang baru-baru belaka nih.

Ramai yang suka, dan ramai yang tak suka.
Aku berkecuali sebenarnya, sebab pada aku siapa-siapa pun boss dia mesti kena jadi boss lah.
Jangan la, tidak adil, corupt, tidak berkaliber, dan sebagainya (sehingga menjejaskan peluang kerjaya aku)

tapi gambar hari ni langsung takde kaitan dengan cerita di atas.
gambar ni pasal mayorship aku.

Hari ni aku jadi mayor kat tempat yang langsung aku tak pernah jejak kaki.
Haha...

In the race of finding success, we always forget to find happiness - me

366 -180112

The self-assured

(budak-budak sekolah sekarang lunch dekat johnny's!)

Sent from my HTC

366 - 170112

I wish I have HELP function in life also.

So whenever I am facing problem and meet dead-end, I can just click this function.

I do, I do wish for this.

160112 (day 1)

twenty 12

(160112)

new book. 

new note.

new beginning.

project 366

aku baru lepas tgk satu facebook / blog sorang girl nih.

dia buat project 365 hari.
then thn ni 366 hari.

it hit me then.
it is a leap year this year.
aku lupa.

lepas tu aku ingat,
aku nak post satu gambar atau entry setiap hari.
(ni dah 17 January nak post apa nih? gambar pun dah terlepas)
takpe, kat facebook mungkin ada.

huhu.

*excited*

writer? maybe u should pass.

malas lah.
malas betul nak menulis report.

ada hati nak jadi penulis?

well, maybe you should pass.

aku gadis pemetik bintang

my my my....

benci aku dgn lagu yuna nih.
benci sebab bila tgk video nih.
(ye, ini unofficial video tapi aku benci)
lagi benci bila it is said lagu ini untuk Qi.
whhaaatttt?


benci sebab tak boleh keluarkan lagu ni dari kepala.
benci sebab tak boleh nyanyi lagu ni buat masa nih.
benci sebab jeles. ye jeles.
benci sebab aku rasa macam lagu ni, cuma tiada siapa untuk aku nyanyikan lagu nih.

btw,
aku amik jugak lirik dia.

Lirik Lagu Terukir Di Bintang – Yuna
Jika engkau minta intan permata tak mungkin ku mampu
Tapi sayangkan ku capai bintang dari langit untukmu
Jika engkau minta satu dunia akan aku coba
Ku hanya mampu jadi milikmu pastikan kau bahagia

Hati ini bukan milik ku lagi

Seribu tahun pun akan ku nanti
Kan… kamu…

Sayangku
Jangan kau persoalkan siapa dihatiku
Terukir di bintang tak mungkin hilang cintaku padamu

Jeles tau jeles.

benci. 

benci asyik menyanyi lagu nih.

menyesal aku putuskan kamu!

Seriously, I can't get this song out of my head. 

dem.

Dulu
Aku pandang diriku
kekasih yang setia
tak pernah berdusta
ooo

kini
aku mulai merasa
sedap hati mendua
perlahanku tinggalkan kamu

tapi
semakin jauh
aku
semakin aku rindu
rindukan kamu
hooo

menyesal aku putuskan kamu
kerna ternyata aku tak mampu
menahan sisa azab cintamu
aduh aduh mana tahan batinku

mungkin
mungkinkah kita bisa
perbaiki semua.. kembali bersama

kerna semakin jauh aku
semakin aku rindu , rindukan kamu

menyesal aku putuskan kamu
kerna ternyata aku tak mampu
menahan sisa azab cintamu
aduh aduh mana tahan batinku

benar apa kau ucapkan dulu
takkan mudah ku lepaskan kamu
menyesal aku curangi kamu
aduhaduh tuhan tolong aku
ooo

klangit - sesal mendua

link sini ada lagu dia. sesal mendua - fan made video

Hati? Maaf, aku sudah buang

Missing you?
No I don't.

Sayang kamu?
Maaf, tidak.

Hati aku?
Sorry, I don't have one.
Aku sudah buang hati jauh-jauh.
Aku sudah tiada hati.
Bagaimana kau nak curi lagi?

Sent from my HTC

Give me some coffee and I can start my day

I need my day to be okay.
I need my day to be fine.

I need my coffee.
I need some additional sugar.

My life is upside down, inside out, step by step.

Urgh! Whatever!

good nite world...

Have you seen sunset from highest mountain? 

I haven't.

But a sunset is still a sunset from anywhere you see it.

Sunset, somewhere between Guangzhou to Malaysia, 2011